This moment brought to you by Ann Geddes!

"Blind"

A great explanation of how I sometimes feel....

Cynical, just your way
You play the doubting Thomas
Feel the scars and wipe the stains

So you fight, and retreat
And talk yourself out of believing
in any peace that you can't see

Blind words you call
Blind words will fall

You're logical, you can't find
any reason to believe in love
you are blind

Crucify, and deny, pass the blame and burn the mission
Till dust remains and wash your hands

Blind words you call
Blind words will fall

¡El tiempo largo ningún considera!

I can't believe that it's been almost 2 weeks since the last time I wrote something on here! I guess time really does fly when your having fun. Well, at least when your workin' your toosh off it does!
I have worked like four 24 hour shifts in the past week. It's been so crazy! I worked my very first cardiac arrest on my first shift! I didn't see not even 1 cardiac arrest the whole time I was a student (for 2 years), and then BAM! There it was. Suffice it to say the person didn't come back but at least we tried.
I really wish that I had more of a social life right now. After I have worked my buns off at work it really would make life so much nicer if I had some people to hang out with or something on my days off. I guess that's what you get when you devote all your waking hours to a certain something that means something to you. At least I have a nice pay check at the end of the pay-period! :-)
I think this year I'm gonna have a wild new years eve! I'm gonna go all out and stuff! I have to work new years day and I really want to make this new years eve special!
I'm gonna go get my beauty sleep now! Until next time!

- Cat Daddy

Help, I need somebody...

Ever wonder how to save your friend? I mean com'on, no one really knows when or how your best friend will bite the dust, but if you happen to be there maybe you can make a difference!
To find out how to give that extra umph click here!>

A Place for My Head

I just got through talking to my cousin Aaron that lives in Wisconsin. I showed him the address to my blog. He wondered why I had a site like this. He told me that he doesn't understand why people talk about their lives on the internet and whatnot, and don't just get out there and live their lives like any normal person would. That kind of got me thinking. Why do I have this site? Why do I write the essays and such when probably no one ever really reads them?
I think that in the world that we live in today, the connections that are formed are far different than the connections that existed when say, my parents where children. I guess that nowadays its kind of hard for some people to directly expose their thoughts and ideals to a person(s). Even though I have grown up in a household where such ideas of communicating to each other our thoughts and feelings was as common a place as breathing, I still nonetheless have grown into the person of somewhat opposing mind-set. Maybe this is do to the sheer devotion I have had to my school and work over the past couple of years. Maybe it's do to the fact that I have not generated any substantial relationships since I was sixteen. I don't really know where it all comes from.
Then again, maybe all this is relative. Maybe I am just held to the constraints of my own limited creativity in the process of creating an outward voice. Maybe I truly am, just trying to find, a place for my head.

Proof!

Palomitas para dos

One of these mornings,
Won't be there at all,
You will look for me,
and I'll be gone.

New ruse

Howcome over the last few months I've been feeling less and less connected with society? Kinda like instead of being implanted in a normal social network I seem to have drifted into something different, something...strange. Maybe it's the fact that since last spring I have been involved with nothing else other than work and school? I mean litteraly I would go to work, go to school, come home and study and then get on the computer for a little while or go to bed. To tell you the truth, I don't think I have any "true" friends besides the ones that are connected by work or school. Does that not suck? Will it be worth it?
Now that I am settling into a new job after just getting out of paramedic school, I find myself working very hard to muster of the energy to even want to go back to school. I've wanted to be a Dr. ever since I was a little kid, and it still is my intention, but my gosh! I am so sick of school and devoting so much time to school and work that I don't have any personal relationships it's unreal!
Maybe I'll just hold off on going back for a semester. Maybe by then I will have found a way to slink back into my normal social patterns.

Until then...I'll be here.

"Art in Me"

Images on the sidewalk speak of dream's decent
Washed away by storms to graves of cynical lament
Dirty canvases to call my own
Protest limericks carved by the old pay phone

In your picture book I'm trying hard to see
Turning endless pages of this tragedy
Sculpting every move you compose a symphony
You plead to everyone, "see the art in me"

Broken stained-glass windows, the fragments ramble on
Tales of broken souls, an eternity's been won
As critics scorn the thoughts and works of mortal man
My eyes are drawn to you in awe once again

In your picture book I'm trying hard to see
Turning endless pages of this tragedy
Sculpting every move you compose a symphony
You plead to everyone, "see the art in me"

See! Even my sauce has aspirations!

Here we go agian.

This weekend I'm going over to my parents house, just to chill. Hopefully I can square away some of that delicious home cookin' of my mom's. I am very sure that she will get enough compensation (work) out of me in return. Oh well, good for the body and soul.
I'm really mad at my brother right now (the one I live with). Not only does it seem like all he wants to do is party; that's another discussion; but he broke one of the strings on his electric guitar (fender i might add *grins*) and just said "Oh well". Oh well?? Oh well? That guitar is not only a big deal in my life right now, I love to play it, but it is also one of the very few entertainment pieces that we have at my house. Gosh!
I am starting my 8 day orientation for my new job on monday. I'm extremely excited but I'm also disappionted too because they told us that we were gonna have a test on the first day. After we took the agility test a couple 'o days ago they gave us about a 1½ inch thick book that contains medical protocols (written orders from a Dr. that we have to follow) and we have to memorize them and take that test. I'm sure I'll pass cuz...you know, I am the bomb and all.
Next time I feel the urge to get all tense and stuff, I'm just gonna go with the flow!

Now this! This is a beautiful picture. Reminds me of....well, that I'll leave to your imagination!

Oh My!

I like really need to start catching up on current events. I feel like I am just emerging from a cave. I guess I have had so much stuff going in my life lately, everything else just kinda got put onto the back burner. Oh well, at least I can still come home and catch one of those stupid reality tv shows. :-)

Peace out! (I love pink)

HMMMMM....

I wonder if I have any regular visitors to this blog?? HMMMMMMMM...

Today

What a crappy day. First I have to wake up at 6:30am to go to an agility test for my new job. We had to do all kinds of stupid stuff like lift a 270lb dummy 3 times consecutively onto a stretcher, walk up a flight of stairs carrying a 27lb bag 3 consecutive times, do CPR for 10 minutes without stopping. Then I had to go take a drug test at 1:00pm. Those people had me walking all over that whole hospital trying to find out where in the heck the lab was so that I could pee in a cup.
Then, I call my boss at Walgreens. I tell her, "hey, I'm not going to be there Thursday or Friday" (my last 2 days working there). "Why", she asks. When I try to tell her she gets mad and hangs up on me! Whatever!
Then I finally met with my parents for lunch at 3:00pm!! Then the best part of the whole day happened! My parents gave me a card and a Littmann stethoscope for graduating paramedic school. It's like a cardiology stethoscope (let's just say "very expensive"), and then they bought my lunch! That was the best part of my whole day.
I am so glad I am done with Walgreens! Those people (some more than others) have put me thru hell throughout the past few months. I will not even look back.

Tommorow's agenda: clean my room